THINGS YOU SHOULD JUST NOT DO ON THE RLS LEGACY
by Natsu Ogawa
Summary: I mean it...don't do it...
1. Chapter 1

THINGS YOU SHOULD JUST NEVER DO ON THE RLS LEGACY!

1. Don't brag about how awesome or lame your dad is in front of Jim.

2. Don't ever bring a ball of yarn on the boat.

3. Asking Mr. Arrow if he's related to The Rock Biter is just stupid. (From A Never Ending Story)

4. Sing the Spider Man theme song when Scroop walks in, that's a death wish.

5. Give Morph candy...enough said.

6. Say that Silver can't cook.

7. Pull Jim's braid.

8. Bring Scooby Snacks.

9. Bring catnip.

10. Prove that you're actually smarter then Delbert.

11. Say, "Wat up Dawg" to Delbert.

12. Ask Silver what species he is.

13. Mock Silver's pirate talk.

14. Start a food fight because Jim would have to clean it and Silver would be furiously offended.

15. Call Cpt. Amelia "Catwoman." or "Katnappe"

16. Sing "A Pirate's Life for Me" in front of the whole crew.

17. Counter Silver's pirate slang with ghetto slang.

18. Say "Good kitty." or "Here Kitty Kitty"

19. Say "Good doggy." or "Here, boy!"

20. Tell Scroops to "Put up them dukes!"

21. Challenge Silver or Scroops or Mr. Arrow to an a arm wrestling match.

22. Don't go through various metals when addressing Silver. Such as "Platinum, Gold, SILVER!"

23. Call the Legacy the Titanic.

24. Yell out; "ALIENS!" At the crew.

25. Try and out mock Morph.

26. Sing the Ben 10 theme song and refer to Jim when ever you say "Ben 10"

27. Ask Mr. Arrow "Do you ever have to use the bathroom...I mean you're all rock right?"

28. Talk to Jim about your issues while drinking rum.

29. Don't spill the rum...

30. Ask Scroop if he was a scorpion or a spider?

31. Argue that he can't be both.

32. Put Morph in the freezer and tell Silver its strawberry icecream with white m n' ms.

33. Ask if you can get a captain hat since so many people have them.

34. While everyone is asleep and you're on night watch yell out " LAND HO!"

35. Pick a fight with Scroops and then when Silver saves you, run behind him and say "Daddy, a pedophile, SAVE ME!"

36. Interrupt all the heart warming father-son scenes between Silver and Jim.

37. Interrupt Silver's stories in the galley.

38. Sing the "Inspecter Gadget" theme song whenever Silver appears.

39. Don't ask Jim about what happened to his other ear ring or the rest of his hair.

40. Spray insect repelant at Scroop whenever he's around.


	2. Chapter 2

Glad to see people enjoyin my little storey here...if any body got any good "don'ts" let me know through private messages please...if you put them up in the reviews it would be a spoiler.

ON WITH THE FUNNY!

* * *

41. Don't snitch.

42. Don't snitch on Scroop. (Snitch on him in private)

43. When Scroops crawls in between everyone with Mr. Arrow's hat and puts the blame on Jim...don't say..."You fucking lier! You cut his lifeline and let him fall in that black hole! Where's my bug spray?" Because they will ask you for proof and you ain't got shit...

44. Every time you see Scroop yell "PEDOPHILE! PEDOPHILE!"

45. Look at Silver's ear closely and yell; "Jim! I found your other earing!"

46. Poke Silver's leg with something sharp.

47. Don't give Doppler a gun...

48. Tell Morph to turn into turd on the "poop" deck and say; "THERE'S POOP ON THE POOP DECK! Dr. Doppler...when will you learn to use the toilet."

49. Out smart Amelia.

50. Sing "Puppy Love" when ever Amelia and Doppler are together. (Welsh Gem's idea.)

51. Don't spill jam on Amelia's coat. (Welsh Gem's idea.)

52. Don't call Amelia a bitch, she's a cat you idiot. (Welsh Gem's idea.)

53. Don't trip Amelia while she's doing on of her crazy flips.

54. When is going to take a look at Amelia's wound, don't yell; "STRIP STRIP STRIP!"

55. DON'T EVER GIVE B.E.N COFFEE!

56. Don't leave B.e.n alone...anywhere!

57. Don't sing "I'm Still Here." instead of playing the actual soundtrack...

58. Don't call Jim Jimmy Neutron.

59. Don't call Dr. Doppler Sheen.

60. Don't call Silver Carl.

61. Don't sing "Thriller" when all the alien are around.

62. Put on a Darth Vador mask and (even if you're a girl) and say; "Jim...I am your father..."

63. Sing "Beat it." when trying to escape the pirates.

64. Tell Silver about the greatest pirate ever; Captain Jack Sparrow

65. Tell Silver about the worst pirate ever; Captain Hook. (I love him though!)

66. Don't mess with the artificial gravity.

67. Don't start a fight with the four armed alien dude.

69. Ask the four armed alien if he knows Four Arms.

70. Tell Jim to look for something that doesn't exist, Silver's orders.

71. Cut off Jim's braid while he's asleep and blame it on Scroop.

72. Spread rumors about Scroop being a pedophile.

73. Have a conversation with the fart alien thingy...

74. Yell; "THIS IS A PIRATE MOVIE AND I HAVEN'T HEARD ANY TALK ABOUT DAVY JONE'S LOCKER!" like you're outraged.

75. Sing the "Spongebob Squarepants" theme song every morning to wake everyone up.

76. Tell Jim to clean Amelia's litter box...he'll either not find it...or actually will find and and then everyone will know Amelia uses a little obx instead of a toilet.

77. Tell Scroop you know places where they eat things like him.

78. Spill pink putty on the table and tell Jim and/or Silver its Morph.

79. Tell Jim you know where his father is and that he's in the galley cooking. (MAKE SURE SILVER'S THERE.)

80. Buy Amelia and Delbert a flea collor.

* * *

EXTRAS!

81. Try and take Delbert out for a walk.

82. Sing "Discovery Channel" whenever Delbert and Amelia are alone together in her office. (or so they thought they were alone)


	3. Chapter 3

Glad to see people enjoyin my little storey here...if any body got any good "don'ts" let me know through private messages please...if you put them up in the reviews it would be a spoiler. More don'ts with the help of my friend: Welsh Gem and Wherever Girl THANKYOU!

ON WITH THE FUNNY!

* * *

83. These are ALL from Welsh Gem...it was hard to pick just a few...

84. Don't sabotage Silver's cyborg arm and leg.

85. Don't scratch the Legacy along the side with a screwdriver.

86. Don't tell BEN that he was meant to protect the treasure after the planet explodes.

87. Don't hide Doppler glasses and don't replace then with 3D glasses.

88. Don't shave Jim bald when he's asleep.

89. Don't cut off Doppler s pony tail thing.

90. Don't ask BEN if he knows where babies come from,if he says no, force Jim into telling him.

91. Write a slashy note to silver from Jim.

92. Blackmail Jim into dressing into a fish suite then telling everyone BEN is his best friend.

93. Damage Jim's solar surfer.

94. Tell Amelia arrow is a rubbish spacer.

95. Tell Amelia she is a rubbish catpain.i meant captain..*not*.

96. Spread Jim's gay.

97. Spread scroop is gay.

98. Spread that scroop sleeps with a teddy bear who has a missing ear and eye.

99. Brag how awesome cats are in front of Doppler.

100. Brag how awesome dogs are in front of Amelia.

101. Hide one of Amelia's bra's in Doppler's room.

102. Take some of Amelia's Tampax and stick it up silver's nose when he's sleeping to stop him from snoring.

103. Brag how crap pirates are in front of the crew.

104. Put bed bugs in Jim's hammock.

105. Turn the volume down on BEN so he cant speak.

106. Don't tell Jim he cant solar surf for his life.

107. Don't try to give either Amelia or Doppler a bath.

108. Don't offer Amelia flea shampoo.

109. Or Doppler.

110. Don't ask onus is he related to the squirrel off the Simpson movie.

112. Don't ask the fat pirate if he's related to peter griffin or Homer Simpson.

113. Don't ask silver about the floozies.

114. Don't tell Doppler Amelia is preggers with his kid. yet.

115. Don't tell Amelia she has a mouth like Davina McCall.

116. Don't ask Silver if he masturbates.

117. If he says yes, don't spread it.

118. Don't video Scroop killing Arrow otherwise he will kill u then Amelia will kill him even though that will be funny.

119. Don't write a really perverse letter to Amelia and sign it Doppler or Scroop or Jim or Silver or Arrow.

120. Don't laugh at Amelia when arrow dies.

122. Don't ask Amelia if she has fleas.

123. Don't ask Amelia how is the period coming.

124. Don't spread Amelia is pmsing.

125. Don't hack into Amelia's facebook account and put on saucy pics.

126. Don't spread Amelia has a tail and Doppler hasn't. if u know what i mean.

127. Don't shave Amelia bald when she's napping.

128. Don't spike every one's drink then dump em all in Amelia's sleeping quarters.

129. Don't fog horn Jim when hes asleep.

130. Or anyone else.

131. Don't ask what Jim and Silver did after their little ride in the longboat.

132. Don't fake a note from Arrow to Amelia asking her to marry him.

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Damn thats alot from Welsh..here's some more from Wherever Girl...

133. Try Bungee Jumping into a Black Hole

134. Invite Mr. Arrow to join you bungee jumping

135. Call Scroop "Spider Man"

136. Then tell him to go spin a web!

137. Join BEN in a conversation (which would last an eternity)

138. Ask Silver in an annoying way: "So, how did you lose your arm, leg and eye? Huh? Huh? Huh?"

139. Make gay innuendos about Jim and Silver while they're in the room (that would be suicide)

140. Ask Delbert if he drinks out of the toilet

141. Spit in Silver's cooking... a lot

142. Walk out of the galley and ask everyone, "Why is the Rum gone?"

143. Sing "The Sailor Song"

144. Sing songs from "Muppet Treasure Island" all day...

145. Starting with "Love Led Us Here" around Amelia and Delbert

146. Try to dismantle Silver's mechanical limbs while he's asleep

147. Walk up to Amelia and say (with a Pirate accent) " 'Ello, Poppet"

* * *

! That, that is just...whoo! Ha ha! Sorry, Joker obsessed at the current moment, i finally bought the dark night movie! I LOVE LOVE L0VE LOVE LOVE LOVE THE JOKER! Rest in Peace, Heath Ledger, you were, are, and forever will be awesome sauce.


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